Skinned Knees: Failure vs. Defeat

What is failure? What is defeat?

Failure is something that everyone experiences. Failure can come from improper preparation. Failure may be derived from a lack of education and effort. Failure is most often the reward of those who do not seek, do not question, or do not thirst for that which is necessary to succeed. However, failure can blindside when you didn't even know there was something to loose. How do I know this? Because I fail at something if not many things every day. I don't think I am alone.

Defeat, on the other hand, is staying down because you do not believe that you are strong enough to get back up or that you will eventually succeed. Defeat is the acceptance of a failure as something beyond our control. Sometimes we even wonder why we tried at all. The good new is that defeat is a lie.

Working to succeed and working to keep from failing are not the same thing.

I had this boss. He was is an enigmatic mix of insightful, short-sighted, fair-minded, explosively angry, strangely encouraging, judgementally impatient, and charismatic. He is a self-professed ass hole but always trying to be a good man. I'll take that any day over a self-professed good man that is really an ass.

I admit that I was a little star struck when I got hired. The job was everything I wanted. I was offered a really good compensation plan, benefits, and the chance to work with a rockstar in the industry.

I had worked in other faced paced, high expectation environments and felt like I had been successful. I would characterize myself as someone who was always in the top 15% in anything that I wanted to do. However, I had never worked in a place like this. It was a startup with minimal process, training, and direction.

I didn't feel like I could get a handle on things. For the first 3 months, I barely made the grade. That is not a feeling I enjoy. So I determined to do what I usually do in those situations. I got to work before nearly anyone else, skipped my lunch, and left last. As I expected, I saw improvement. As a matter of fact, half way through my 4th month I was on track to dominate.

It felt great. I could sleep again, I got to see my family more, and I didn't fear loosing my job. Then month 5 came and I hit the lowest point so far.

While failure is part of the human experience, defeat only comes to those who accept it. How do I know this? Because I refuse to accept this failure as a defeat.